Submitted by: Cory Josue
One of the disadvantages of being a seafarers wife is that they have to spend long periods of time being apart. Despite the trimmings that come with their job, it is still not enough to compensate for the loneliness that distance brings. In the Philippines, being one of the top countries with seafarers, their wives enjoy a life full of material things and socializing but according to Nina, at night, she still shed tears because she misses her husband dearly.
Its a good thing though because in the first few months that my husband left me, I was clueless on what to do; the adjustment period is a little rough on me but as months went by, I found new ventures to get myself busy. Nina shares her coping mechanisms with me and hopes that other wives who is in the same situation as she is will be inspired.
Learn Something New
Nina says that in college, she had an art group so it was easy for her to reconnect with them and join new classes together. It was very therapeutic, she says. However, if art is not your forte, you can also join exercise or photography group. This way, you will not only learn new things but you will also meet new people who may be going through the same situation as you. She cautions however that this may not be suitable for everyone, especially if you are a seafarers wife with kids.
Volunteer
This doesnt have to be grandyou can volunteer to plan your best friends bridal shower or in your local pet organizationbut volunteering in something that you strongly believe in helps alleviate loneliness and gives you that sense of altruism.
Somehow, it gave balance to my life. I volunteered to be a nurse aid in our local health department and it was very satisfying. It broaden my horizon and I learned a new skill, says Nina. She adds that she can now tell her husband that hes not the only one who had training in the Philippinesbut, mine is a different sort. She smirked.
Find Support in Online Community
Nina was surprised when she found out that there were many online forums for seafarer wives but It was a good decision that I joined because I was able to tell them how I felt and I also found support in them.
Since technology is one of the biggest ways for them to communicate, Nina took advantage of it and one night found herself talking with other wives from around the world. My nearest relatives live 12 hours away and I cant obviously just go to them whenever I feel sad so the next best thing are my online friends, Nina adds. Over the Internet, she found solace and friendships that she never expected.
Nina adds that these coping mechanisms are relevant and does not apply to all seafarer wives. Its what I did because we dont have a child yet but we sure are planning to have one, Nina says giggling.
She says that as of the moment, she is enjoying her lifestyle because she knows that once they have a family, all her attention will be focused on raising that child. The key in conquering loneliness is doing things that will also make you happy but just make sure that your husband is still your priority; do not destroy his trust in you, Nina ended.
About the Author: Cory Josue also works as a part-time Communications Specialist for the Marketing Department of an offshore training school in the Philippines. For more information, visit
ctsi.com.ph
Source:
isnare.com
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